Upscale Farm to Fork Fare & Spring Cocktails for Sunny Days at Bailey's Backyard

Bailey's Backyard, an intimate farm to table restaurant tucked away on Bailey Avenue in Ridgefield, CT, has been on my "must try" list since last year when they closed temporarily and then reopened with a completely revamped menu and beverage program. Now I can finally say I've experienced Bailey's Backyard, as I attended a tasting dinner for local food writers earlier this week, and am happy to report that the evening of small plates and seasonal cocktails was a pleasure. I understand why so many people have recommended a visit!

The evening began with introductions from Owner Sal Bagliavio, Executive Chef Forrest Pasternack, and beverage program Manager Bryan Walsh; the evenings menu would be showcasing spring menu items as well as Bryan Walsh's new cocktail creations. 

We started with appetizers and selections from the "for the table" portion of the menu. First, Pasternack's take on "Devils on Horseback" - armagnac plums wrapped in meaty North Country bacon, and topped with slices of fresh pear. The combination of sweet and savory, as well as the different textures presented by soft plums and crisp pear worked together very well. Already, the meal was off to a great start. 

A beautifully presented dish of Hawaiian Ahi Tuna Poke with sesame oil, garlic, soy sauce, wakame, black sesame seeds, and puffed wonton was fresh and light. Raw tuna is one of my favorites, and I always order it if it's on the menu - I could eat it completely unadorned, but the sesame oil added a unique element that elevated the dish.  

Two "for the table" dishes arrived, Tempura Vegetables with sweet potato, asparagus, and red onion topped with cashew powder and hoisin sauce, and Zucchini Fries with shaved parmesan, pecan puree, and mint. Both dishes were really nice and crispy (nothing worse than greasy veggies) and each had a unique twist that I enjoyed: the cashew powder on the tempura and pecan puree with the zucchini. I haven't experienced anything like that before, and in both cases the extra touches really made the dishes "pop."

 

The next two dishes were my favorites of the night. First, Chicken Liver & Grand Marnier Pate with apricot, mustard, and thyme toast was perfectly seasoned, and satisfyingly rich without being heavy. If you're a pate fan (or ready to be converted to one), you must order this dish. 

Next, Grilled Asparagus Salad with frisée, prosciutto, black truffle, hollandaise, shaved pecorino, and herbed red wine vinaigrette. I was impressed by how perfectly cooked the asparagus was; slightly charred, al dente, and bright. The vinaigrette added the right amount of tanginess, and the earthiness of black truffles complimented the salty sweet tender prosciutto. 

Goat Cheese Profiteroles with aged balsamic, crispy parmesan, and sun-dried tomato vinaigrette were an interesting twist on a dish traditionally associated with dessert. Chef Pasternack clearly has a creative mind, an eye for presentation, and a talent for combining unexpected flavors in a winning way. 

Now it's time to talk drinks. Bryan Walsh is creating some seriously unique cocktails and doing it with skill and style. We started with the "Six Toed Cat" (a reference to Ernest Hemingway's famous polydactyl cats): blueberry and mint infused rum, lime, fresh mint, and ginger beer. It had a wonderfully prominent blueberry flavor, with a bright purple color to match. Sticking to the Farm to Table and sustainable philosophy of Bailey's Backyard, the straw it is served with is completely biodegradable. A nice touch. 

Next, "Don't Call Me Shirley" (top right): house made citrus vodka, fresh citrus juice, and Cointreau. It tasted like Orangina for grownups! Deliciously strong. 

The "Samuel Clemens": is made with ginger infused vodka, lemon, ginger, club soda, and the completely unexpected addition of black pepper. I was skeptical, but the mix of lemon and pepper actually created a slightly spicy floral scent and flavor. I would never think of putting those ingredients together, but I'm glad Bryan did. 

A final dessert-like drink, "Rude Barbara," made with white rum, strawberry rhubarb puree, and lime, tasted like a strawberry rhubarb tart. Definitely the perfect complement to a warm spring afternoon. 

Entrees arrived, and continued to impress with their unique twists and beautiful presentation. Whipped Foie Gras with Caramelized Onion Perogi, Barolo soaked pearl onions, chive crema, and white truffle and bacon powder was a refined version of hearty Polish comfort food.

A Slow Roasted Suckling Pig with yellow corn fritters, lavender, buttered peas, and cracklin' gravy was so tender it melted in the mouth. The addition of lavender added an intriguing depth of flavor.

My favorite (though it's honestly hard to choose) was the Firecracker Rock Shrimp Scampi with hand-cut linguine, diced shallots, roasted garlic, and meyer lemon. The shrimp were tender, sweet, and lightly battered, while the buttery rich pasta boasted a clean bright pop of tangy meyer lemon.

By the time desserts arrived, we were all full to bursting, but who can resist? We enjoyed a Strawberry and Rhubarb Tart with tasted meringue and Arethusa Farms vanilla ice cream followed by a trio of warm House Made Donuts: almond and chocolate, powdered sugar, and Dulce de Leche with bacon served with a side of pomegranate espresso sauce. 

Bailey's Backyard is a Ridgefield gem. It's truly Farm to Table, dishes are unique and thoughtfully crafted, the staff is attentive but not invasive, and and the space itself is inviting and cozy. It was on my "must try" list; I recommend you add it to yours! 

Bailey's Backyard is located at 23 Bailey Avenue, Ridgefield, CT 06877. Call 203-431-0796 for reservations. 

Sinfully Good Sips at South End in New Canaan

South End, a restaurant and bar in New Canaan, Connecticut, is a can't-miss spot no matter what your restaurant "must haves" are. From a casually upscale interior to Chef Nick Martschenko's menu of dishes that are so good you could just close your eyes, point, and be pleased, and a bar program that's a Fairfield County standout headed up by the charming Sean Nye, its no wonder that it's a hopping spot every day of the week.

While I could wax poetic about Chef Martschenko's cooking (Try the meatballs. Just do it.), my most recent visit focused exclusively on their cocktails. Sean Nye, the face of South End's inventive cocktail menu, treated me to a memorable flight of 5 drinks, some of which are new additions for spring, while others, like the bloody mary, are ongoing house favorites.

As Nye began mixing, grabbing bottles, clinking ice into glasses, shaking, and stirring, he explained some of the things that make the cocktails at South End unique. First, his personal philosophy that it's possible to make a great tasting drink that's still nice and boozy. It's not necessary to mask alcohol with syrupy sweetness or make a drink palatable for an inexperienced drinker by going light on it, but on the flip-side, he doesn't make drinks that feature alcohol as their primary flavor note. Lucky me, as my favorite drink is one where I know it's good and strong, but it's flavorful enough to be pleasant to drink. Yes, I can appreciate the flavors when drinking whiskey neat, but it's not something I find particularly pleasurable. 

The second standout element of the bar program at South End is the use of fresh and house-made ingredients. The bacon in the bloody mary is house smoked, the mix is made from scratch, and it's topped with bright green micro-cilantro. The pineapple juice in the Mai Tai isn't from a can, it's juiced right there. The difference is clear. You're drinking a quality product, made with care and thought. 

On to the drinks. First, a refreshing concoction (as of now, still unnamed - Nye takes the time to invent creative monikers, usually with a touch of sass or humor) of Giffard Pamplemousse Rose Liquer, Vizcaya Cristal Rum, and a touch of Hum Botanical Spirit. I was genuinely blown away by this one. The first sip tastes like the offspring of grapefruit juice and lemonade, and a second sip reveals the undertones of vanilla in the rum (oak barrel aged, then filtered so it's completely clear) and the interesting combination of hibiscus, ginger, cardamom and kaffir lime in the Hum Liqueur. It's the kind of drink that makes you pause and think as you try to discern all the things you're tasting. I've really never had anything like it, and I could really feel my brain cells firing as it tried to categorize the various elements. I'd happily buy a jug of this drink and then take it to a sunny field for the best picnic libation I have yet to encounter. Sangria, step aside! Chardonnay, to the left!

Next, in the spirit of cocktails meant for sunny days and warm breezes, Nye mixed a hibiscus margarita using a larger amount of the same Hum spirit he used in the previous drink. The difference was surprising; the ginger and hibiscus came through much more than the first drink, and of course, the color was gorgeous. It made for a great twist on a standard drink, and it would be all too easy to put away several of these at a rapid pace. It went perfectly with the fish tacos we had ordered for lunch. 

Next, an in-house barrel aged Manhattan that blows, but by, every other Manhattan I've had out of the water (and I've had quite a few, from California to Connecticut). After aging for several weeks in an oak barrel, the drink is smooth, drinkable, and complex, with a lightly sweet aftertaste. If you like Manhattans, get in the car now and order one. If you don't like them, you need to give this one a try.

Nothing like day drinking! Photo courtesy Jason Varga

Moving along, I tried two very popular drinks: a bloody mary, and a Mai Tai. As I mentioned before, they're both made with fresh, house-made ingredients. The bacon on the bloody mary, smoked in-house, is to die for. This is a great accompaniment to South End's bustling Sunday brunch, and Nye says they have to make many gallons of the "liquid salsa" mix to keep up with the demand.

We ended on a tropical note with the Mai Tai; it's visually pleasing and absolutely delicious. Thanks to the use of fresh pineapple juice as opposed to canned, it's vibrantly pineapple-y and refreshing. Careful, it's strong! Rum mixed in, and a dark rum float.

Good thing there was delicious food to soak up the alcohol: fish tacos and meatballs. From start to finish, at brunch (try the whole wheat oatmeal pancakes with lemon curd and blueberries), lunch or dinner, South End is memorable. Take the trip to New Canaan, order a cocktail, settle in, and prepare to be impressed.

South End is located at 36 Pine Street, New Canaan, CT 06840. Call 203-966-5200 for reservations.

Cocktail photos courtesy South End

Sake, Sushi, and Shandies: A Visit to Miya's Sushi in New Haven

I took a trip to New Haven this week to check out Miya's Sushi. The chef, Bun Lai, was recently featured in Outdoor Magazine for his innovative use of generally overlooked plants and animals, which is too intriguing not to make the drive. 

After being seated, we were each treated to a flight of 5 different house-infused sakes: spicy honey sake, pickled ginger sake, a sweet/berry sake, a pinecone sake, and a bright green pine needle sake. Our two clear favorites were the ginger and the pine needle, and our enthusiastic server brought us a drink he had invented: half beer, half ginger sake over ice. It was like a tangy twist on a shandy, and quite refreshing! 

Our server, a young man named Brendan, was an absolute pleasure. He was patient with our questions even though he was clearly busy, and I thought it was great that he offered a drink he had come up with himself. 

Then the food started to arrive. First, pumpkin miso soup with slow roasted pumpkins, sweet potatoes, and acorn squash. It offered an interesting combination of sweet and savory flavors, but the use of winter vegetables made it more suitable for a crisp fall evening.

Next, a salad of bitter greens tossed with Miya's own wild ramp and basil dressing. The greens were reminiscent of dandelion greens, and the slightly nutty dressing was a good counterpart to the bitterness of the fresh greens. 

The sushi, dish after dish, 8 in total, arrived. Clockwise from top right: scallops, crispy fava bean tempura seasoned with home grown chilis, Iranian ghormeh sabze, and avocado; a grape leaf wrapped roll of eggplant, avocado, pickled radish, scallions, and hot pepper drizzled with olive oil; a coconut covered roll of Alaskan shrimp, cantaloupe, burdock root, and cream cheese; Fava bean tempura broccoli, roasted garlic, and black beans.

 We were both struck by how similar all the rolls tasted despite such extensive ingredients. 

Clockwise from top right: eggplant, okra, goat cheese, apricots, avocado, pickled radish, chives, and Ethiopian berbere spice mix; figs, dates, raisins, goat cheese, roasted barley, pomegranate, cinnamon, spicy red pepper, honey, pistachio, extra virgin olive oil, manna/broccoli (The menu explained, "this roll utilizes the Seven Species of the Hebrew Bible and broccoli, beloved by Jews everywhere."); cauliflower and scallions wrapped in potato, topped with toasted jersey cow’s milk cheese and lemon dill aioli sauce, a California roll made with real Maryland blue crab meat and sliced avocado, drizzled with curry sauce. 

The California roll was the favorite by far, and the curry sauce was a nice twist on such a standard roll. 

Next, a beautifully presented nice spice tilapia sashimi seasoned with a spicy citrus soy sauce and green onions. It was just spicy enough to still allow the delicate fish to shine through. 

Lastly, a trio of offerings: scallop, mackerel, and a spicy white fish (sorry to say I cannot recall what it was). The scallop was much "slimier" than what I have experienced in the past, but tasted very light and fresh. 

The meal ended with a dessert roll: fermented, sundried banana, cashew butter, strawberries, chocolate, and homemade, hand-pounded mochi, topped with baby scoops of rose petal ice cream. I can only describe it as a journey of flavors; the cold, sweet ice cream is the first thing you can taste, then it melts and blends with the chocolate, and as you keep chewing you finish with banana flavor. I have not experienced anything like it.

As we departed, happily full of unique sake (thank you, Miya's, for the treat), we couldn't help but comment on the lack of "invasive species," something the chef is known for utilizing, and the reason we had wanted to check Miya's out.  There is a menu dedicated to invasives, so we may have to return and try it out. 

Review: Stella Restaurant & Bar in Bethel, CT

Last night, after spending the afternoon lying in a sunlit field drinking fabulous locally brewed beer (Sea Hag by New England Brewing Company - check them out if you aren't familiar), it was time for food. But where to go? No desire to drive far, but we were in the mood for somewhere new.

After a mental checklist of places in the surrounding area, eureka! Stella! We had both been in the past, and weren't particularly impressed, but they've changed hands and are now chef owned. Off we went, and after the experience, I recommend making a trip over there. 

I generally prefer to try several different smaller plates rather than large entrees, and I always make an effort to order some "standard" items like calamari for the purpose of comparison to other places as well as at least one more "unique" dish. With this in mind, we ordered 4 appetizers: mussels, meatball trio, scallops, and calamari. 

The calamari arrived first, and it was delicious. Tender, crispy, and not too greasy, with a smattering of hot peppers and a tangy lemon aioli drizzled on top. Very good, and an attractive presentation. 

Next, the clear favorite: scallops. This was our "inventive" pick, as the scallops were served with pineapple chunks, edamame, and bacon. The surprising combo worked perfectly; tangy sweet pineapple, salty smoky bacon, and mild edamame to balance it all out. I really judge a restaurant by their scallops, because I know how difficult it is to get a nice sear on them without overcooking, and the chef clearly knows what he's doing. They were cooked perfectly. 

At this point, we were really pleased with the food and glad to discover a new spot. The next dish to arrive looked great but was a bit lackluster, the standard mussels in a white wine broth. It wasn't bad, but it was not memorable. An impressive amount of garlic though! 

Whoa garlic!

Lastly, the meatballs. The sauce was bright and "tomato-y" with no greasiness, which was nice. The meatballs were solid, and the presentation was interesting. They'd make great sliders.

Overall, a good experience and I'd like to try more of what they have to offer. Coming on the heels of a night at another Bethel spot, Ecco (rooftop at La Zingara), it was easy to make some mental comparisons between the two. Ecco is a great spot, and Stella absolutely holds its own. Ecco definitely has some competition down the street!

Price: 4 appetizers and 2 beers each: $65 plus tip. A little pricey for Bethel, but certainly less than Ecco, where a similar spread came to $85 plus tip.
Location: 213 Greenwood Avenue, Bethel, CT 06801

Recipe: Thai Pork Lettuce Wraps

I love lettuce wraps. They offer the perfect combination of warm filling and cool crispy lettuce, and salty sweet tanginess. The combination of textures is really satisfying. However, they're something I usually only enjoy in restaurants; they seem too complicated to make at home. I had a craving for them, and a beautiful head of butter lettuce in the fridge, so I decided to conquer my fears and make them myself! Guess what? They taste just like what you get in a restaurant, and I used way less oil than a restaurant would. Success! 

Admittedly, there are a lot of ingredients and steps, but none of if it actually difficult. The key is tasting as you go and adjusting based on your personal preferences. More sesame oil? More soy sauce? More sweet mirin? Whatever you want - it's forgivable. 

When I read a few different recipes as a jumping off point, they were full of ingredients I didn't have, like fish sauce and lemongrass. From cooking asian dishes in the past, I knew these things weren't really necessary to create complex flavors. So here's what I put together:

Ingredients: 

• 1 lb. ground pork, 80% lean
• 1 head butter lettuce
• 1 medium white onion, diced 
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1/4 cup water chestnuts, diced
• 1 medium carrot, diced very fine (I peeled the whole thing and then diced)
• 1 tbsp. white rice
• 1 tbsp. sesame oil
• 1 tbsp. olive oil
• 1 tbsp. minced ginger root (always use fresh, not dried and powdered!)
• 4 tbsp. soy sauce
• 1/4 cup mirin (sweetened sake - you can find it in the asian section of most supermarkets)
• 1/2 tsp. ground white pepper (this is important - it adds a different flavor from black pepper)
• Sprinkle red pepper flakes to taste
• Sprinkle toasted sesame seeds
• Spritz fresh lime juice

Steps:

1. Separate the leaves of butter lettuce, being careful not to tear them. Wash, dry, and set aside.
2. In a large, dry sauté pan, toast the rice over medium heat for about 5 minutes. You'll know it's done when the grains just begin to turn golden. 
3. In a food processor or with mortar and pestle, grind the toasted rice until it's powder. This is the worst part of the whole process! It takes forever, but it's an important ingredient. If you have a child, get them to do this part! It's fun for them, but annoying for you!
4. In the same pan, cook the pork until crumbly and no longer pink. Drain and set aside.
5. Add 1 tbsp. of olive oil to the same pan, and once it's shimmering, add the diced onion, carrot, water chestnuts, ginger, and garlic. Sauté for a few minutes, and when the start to brown, add the mirin. Cover and turn the heat down to low. You want everything to get a bit soft; let it sit for 6 minutes or so.  
6. Add the drained pork to the pan of veggies, stir to combine. Add soy sauce, sesame seeds, white pepper, and red pepper flakes.
7. Serve with lettuce leaves for wrapping, and spritz with fresh lime juice. 

Not pictured: sesame oil, white pepper, lime

Yup, this part takes forever and makes your arm hurt. It's good exercise. :-)

Recipe: Crustless Swiss Chard and Mushroom Quiche

My family just received the first batch of vegetables from this season's CSA. It seems like there's always Swiss Chard in those packages, and last year we barely used any of it! What a waste! I just don't have much experience cooking it or even seeing it in restaurants, but I know it can be used much like spinach. With that in mind, I thought I'd try to make a quiche with it. 

This recipe is a more or less "healthy" version of quiche, a traditionally heavy and calorie laden dish. First of all, it's crustless. Second of all, it uses half and half instead of heavy cream. Lastly, the volume of cream and egg mixture that often becomes the primary component of quiche is reduced, and the vegetables take center stage. If you prefer to add more cheese, go for it! Same goes for a crust (but it really doesn't need one)!

Ingredients

• 1 cup grated Swiss cheese
• 1 cup half and half
• 3 eggs
• 2 tbsp. olive oil, divided
• 1 tbsp. butter
• 1 Medium sized white onion, diced
• 1/8 tsp. nutmeg
• Salt and Pepper to taste
• 1 medium bunch Swiss chard, chopped
• 1 13 ounce container baby bella mushrooms, stems removed and slice

Steps

1. Wash, dry, and coarsely chop the swiss chard, then sauté in a large saucepan over medium heat in 1tbsp. olive oil, stirring frequently. After about 5 minutes, it will be totally wilted; remove from pan and set aside in a bowl.

 2. Melt the butter in the pan, and cook mushrooms until they release their liquid. Let the liquid cook off; about 5 minutes. Add the mushrooms to the chard and onion. 

3. Add 1 tbsp. olive oil to the pan, and sauté the onions over medium high heat until they start to soften and caramelize. (I also added some Harvey's Sherry...but that's not a necessary step) Remove the onions from pan and add to swiss chard.

4. Whisk together eggs, cream, nutmeg, salt, pepper, and grated cheese. 

5. Stir together the chard, onion, and mushroom mixture, then add it to the egg and cream mixture. Stir to combine.

 6. Pour the mix into a 9 inch glass pie pan and bake for 30-40 minutes.

     7. Remove from oven and let rest at least 10 minutes before serving (to let the center firm up).

Angry Shrimp and Barnacles! Newtown's Newest Restaurant, Barnwood Grill

There's a new dining option in Newtown; Barnwood Grill, located in the Caraluzzi's Market complex. Unassuming from the outside, it's a large space with high ceilings, brick walls, and reclaimed barn wood from Kent, CT. The dining room side has a long wall of windows, offering a romantic view of the Big Y across the street... The location isn't ideal but the bar, on the other side of the dining room, is flatteringly lit and a nice size. The long bar allows for plenty of room between seats, and high top tables run the length of the wall behind.

I didn't go with the intention to write a review, but the experience must be shared.

I heard about Barnwood Grill from a friend, and after hearing an excellent report on the food, decided to check it out. Of course, the bar is always my go-to spot, so we posted up at the corner and ordered some beers. There's a decent selection, and they had 2 Roads "Road to Ruin" Double IPA as well as Goose Island IPA, so I was happy.

We weren't hungry enough for a full-blown exploration of the menu, but we tried 4 appetizers: the tuna flatbread, stuffed mushroom, shrimp cocktail, and mussels.

With brutal honesty, I must say that we were not impressed.

The tuna flatbread was pretty to look at, but quite odd. It was essentially tuna carpaccio gone wrong. The tuna itself was good, but putting it on top of flatbread was not an enhancement. We pointedly removed all of the tuna from the flatbread and ate it plain (though it was topped with standard seaweed salad). Not bad once the offending element was removed, but not a dish I'd order again.

Tuna Flatbread

 The mussels were the smallest I have ever encountered. Like mussels for dolls. The broth, however, was tasty and we soaked it up with the warm crusty bread that had been delivered upon our arrival (along with a strongly garlic enhanced butter). Halfway through the broth soaking process we discovered a barnacle encrusted mussel and decided to move on (but not until we added it to our pointed pile of flatbread). It's not that barnacles are bad for you, but I don't want a second animal cooked with the animal I ordered. Flies live near cows, but I don't want flies in my beef, even though flies won't kill me.

Will they get the message?

By now, we were skeptical. The stuffed mushroom, which was described as having broccoli and shrimp, displayed perhaps a trace of broccoli, but there were no shrimp in attendance. The portobello mushroom cap was nicely cooked though, and it was served over julienned sauteed vegetables that were quite tasty. I'd be happy with just a plate of those. Personally, I prefer several small mushrooms when I order stuffed mushrooms, but that's just personal taste.

Lastly, we tried the cold shrimp cocktail. A resounding fail. They were extremely tough. Unreasonably tough. So tough that we could only ruminate on what sad, difficult, painful childhoods they must have had to end up in such a state.

Angry shrimp

Conclusion: I will still go back, because the beer selection is good, the ambiance in the bar was pleasant, and it's a change of scene. I'd even try more food, but next time I'll stick to the standards. Calamari and salad, anyone? 

Appetizers: $10-$15
Entrees: $16-$25

Chinese Takeout at Home - Easy Stir Fried Green Beans and Pork

Chinese takeout is one of those foods that evokes lazy nights in college, sitting on the floor and watching movies. It's a happy memory. Unfortunately, it's a (usually) pretty unhealthy dinner choice. Deep fried sesame chicken, egg rolls, salty oily sauces...it's not an indulgence I allow myself often.

Luckily, it's easy to replicate plenty of these dishes at home using minimal oil and far less salt. One of my favorite dishes is green bean and pork stir fry, and after seeing a recipe in Cook's Magazine, I decided to give it a go (and seriously simplify it along the way).

Feel free to eat it sitting on the floor and watching a movie. It'll taste even better, I promise!

Easy Stir Fried Green Beans and Pork

Ingredients:

• 1/2 lb green string beans, trimmed
• 3/4 lb ground pork, 80% lean
• 1/4 cup mirin (sweetened rice wine)
• 2 tbsp. EVOO
• 3 tbsp. tamari
• 1/2 tsp. white pepper (adds a distinct flavor, very different from black pepper)

1. Brown the pork over medium high heat until no longer pink; the end result should be crumbly, like taco meat.
2. Transfer the pork to a colander and let it drain. 
3. On high, heat the olive oil until shimmering. Sauté the green beans. Be patient, and don't stir them often - let them get browned and wrinkly on one surface before stirring. I like my veggies al dente, but if you like them well done, cover the pan. 
4. Once beans are cooked, add the drained pork, mirin, white pepper, and soy sauce. Stir to mix and make sure everything is coated. 

-Makes 4 servings if plated with rice.

Three Months is Not a Relationship; or, Why We Need to Redefine the Word "Dating"

Despite my generally independent nature, I've been in "serious relationships" for much of my young adulthood. Once I turned 25, however, something changed. I know that's still young, but it was the first time I had really felt like an adult, and it felt....fabulous. Things started coming together in my life, I was no longer so lost as to what the (short term) future might hold, and a career I really loved and could imagine lasting longterm began to materialize. I was climbing Maslow's heirarchy of needs toward self-actualization. Now, I'm 26 and have spent almost 8 months as a single person and an adult. I've learned more about people and relationships than I would have thought possible in such a relatively short amount of time.

Over the past 8 months, I've been astonished to discover how immature a vast number of people are when it comes to relationships. I'm talking ADULTS - people at least ten years older than me. They're just as confused and insecure as many of my peers! My peers are busy worrying about what they'll do with their lives or if they'll meet "the one," while the next generation and beyond is busy worrying about their unreasonable ex wives and whether their kids will ever be happy/get into the right schools/stay out of trouble. It's been quite fascinating to study the human animal.

The primary thing I've discovered, about both 20 somethings and 30 somethings, and 40 somethings, and even 50 somethings, is that they're totally off-base with what I believe a "relationship" is. To illustrate my point, I'll share three recent conversations that totally astonished me:

1 - A 21 year old female:
Her: Tom and I broke up.
Me: Oh, I'm so sorry. Good thing it only went on for a couple months!
Her: Actually, I'm really struggling. I'm just so hurt and confused.
Me: Um.....::awkward silence::
Her: Well, at least we never slept together.
Me: I have to go.

THAT WAS NOT A RELATIONSHIP. THREE MONTHS, NO SEX? That was hanging out, getting to know each other, enjoying each others company. Why would you ever call yourself "boyfriend and girlfriend" when you could just have fun and not be so worried about labels?

2 - A 43 year old male:
Him: My ex girlfriend is at the other end of the bar. It's awkward; she's still really upset.
Me: Oh, wow, that's hard! How long did you date?
Him: Ehh, about three months.
Me: Um...::awkward silence::

THAT WAS NOT A RELATIONSHIP. She could not POSSIBLY have gotten to know him so well that she was EVER in love with him, let alone STILL in love with him. These people are too old to be so shallow. 

3 - A 50 year old male:
Him: (about a mutual acquaintance I had mentioned) Oh, yeah, I actually dated her for a while!
Me: (teasingly) Oh, she's hot! Bet she looks great naked....
Him: I actually never saw her naked.
Me: Um....::awkward silence::

THAT WAS NOT A RELATIONSHIP. Why would you say you dated? You just went out a few times, and that was that. It's not even worth mentioning. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with hanging out for three months and not having sex, if anything I'm pretty conservative about that, but don't label it as anything. It's way too casual for that. 

My conclusion? It's time to stop labeling things. Just go out, get some drinks, laugh, and stop worrying about labels and attachments. If something serious is meant to happen, it will.

On the flip side, it seems like marriage is NOT taken seriously enough. Casual dating shouldn't be so serious, but if you decide to marry, it's time to be committed. To illustrate the lack of commitment I've observed, I have another couple conversations to share:

1 - A 39 year old MARRIED male: 
Him: When I sleep with women, especially young ones, they immediately get attached.
('nuff said)

2 - A 38 year old single male: 
Him: Most of the women I meet are either crazy or married. But they all tell me their husband doesn't care what they do.
('nuff said)


My conclusion? Relationships are confusing, and hard, and people get married when they shouldn't. Can't we all have a little more fun dating and not take ourselves so seriously?

Acqua of Westport - A Shining Star in the Westport Dining Scene

I had the recent pleasure of enjoying a lunch with my mother at Acqua of Westport. We had noted how nice it looked many times in the past, but had never stopped in; after our meal there is no doubt we will return! 

We had trouble deciding what to order, as there truly wasn't a single unappealing dish on the menu. Everything had a nice balance of unique preparations and ingredients without sounding overdone. It's an approachable menu but not at all run of the mill. In addition to the regular menu, there is an "express lunch" menu with more limited choices for $15.

After debating our options, we chose two appetizers and two entrees, and shared everything. First, Yellowfin tuna crudo with avocado, sliced radish, ginger-lime juice, & micro onions. Not only was the dish beautifully presented, but the combination of flavors was spot-on. The tuna was fresh and sweet, the avocado perfectly ripe, and the vinaigrette added a tanginess that didn't detract from the brightness of the tuna. 

For our second appetizer, we chose the Prince Edward Island mussels with red curry, cream, fava beans, & cilantro. I love mussels, and these were sweet and tender. I was particularly impressed by the broth; it was completely different from the lemony white wine broth one often encounters with a dish like this. It wasn't heavy at all, but the splash of cream added a sweetness to the slight bite of red curry. We gobbled up all the mussels and proceeded to soak up the broth with focaccia. Yum!

We were already feeling full and happy, but there were entrees on the way, and we were more than happy to make room. I chose the pan roasted bronzini with crisp spaetzle, brussels sprouts, wild mushrooms, and tart apple mustard. I was surprised by the combination of flavors. I love bronzini because the skin is so deliciously flavorful and crispy. I'm used to it being served with savory accompaniments, and the sweet applesauce-like dressing wasn't to my liking. Of course, that's just an issue of personal taste - it wasn't bad at all. The wild mushrooms were a nice touch. 

My mother definitely picked a winner: seared dry sea scallops with fennel - orange salad, pomegranate vinaigrette, & crisp prosciutto. I had to resist stealing all of her scallops, which were cooked perfectly. They were completely tender, with just the right amount of char. Absolutely excellent. 

Acqua was a pleasant spot for lunch, and would be perfect for a date night. The bar area is just the right size to be intimate without seeming so small that everyone can hear your conversation, and they have a nice wine list. I look forward to my next visit! 

Acqua is located at 43 MAIN STREET, WESTPORT, CT 06880 . (203) 222-8899

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation... - Henry David Thoreau

As the media coverage of the recent movie theater shooting continues, I can't help but reflect on the many issues that the event raises. On the surface, it appears to be a non-sensical and cold-blooded act of violence. The knee jerk reaction seems to be "That guy is crazy! What a psycho!" But as the story unfolds, it's clear to me that it's not that simple. The man who got shot was apparently not just quietly texting, but being combative. The shooter asked him to stop, but he didn't.

Of course, being rude, and even being physically aggressive, is no cause for being shot and killed. I am particularly struck, however, by the fact that the shooter actually left the theater and then returned to kill the offensive movie-goer. This removes the argument that this was a crime committed in the heat of the moment, and it's this piece of information that is the crux of my pondering.

The phrase on everyone's lips, it seems, is "gun control." Yes, gun control is a major issue with many different arguments, both logical and emotional, surrounding it. But I don't think this recent shooting is necessarily about gun violence, nor do I think it would have been prevented if guns were illegal.

It's not the actions of the shooter that lead me to wonder about human behavior or violence, it's the man who died. He didn't deserve to die, but he wasn't an innocent bystander. What is it about our society that makes people so obnoxious? Why do people need to be angry and combative? Why can't we all just be polite to each other?

There's something wrong with a society full of people who are unable to treat each other with common decency. Don't use your phone in a movie theater. Don't pick fights. Don't be rude. I picture the victim's life (accurate picture or not, I think it describes many people's): He's probably beat down and frustrated. Has a job that doesn't pay enough, and a boss who makes him feel small.  He comes home to a demanding toddler, a bundle of responsibilities he may not even have been ready to take on. His wife doesn't look at him the way she used to, they're both tired and frustrated all the time, they're rarely intimate anymore.

Of course people are all wound up and angry! What a tough world we live in!

The issue isn't gun control, it's quality of life improvement. We need to remember that we're all just striving for happiness. We're all lonely on some level, and all of us are seeking fulfillment in the best way we can.

A Sixth Sense Ignited

Memories of food stand out with surprising clarity in my mostly blurry recollections of childhood. The intensely sensory nature of cooking surely plays a role in why these memories are so vivid, but perhaps more important was the encouragement I received from my parents. They never shooed me out of the kitchen; instead I was given a chair to stand on so I could be part of the action.

Cooking involves an intricate blend of all five senses and they are all prominent in my memories: kneading dough for cardamom bread with my mother, the uniquely spicy smell permeating the air. Bundling juniper berries and slicing kielbasa with my father for choucroute garnie, and wrinkling my nose at the smell of sauerkraut not yet mellowed by hours baking in the juices of pork, chicken, and sausage. Plunging my small hands into cold (somehow appealing in its sliminess) ground meat, eggs, and breadcrumbs for meatballs, my father reminding me not to overwork the meat. 

As my experience grew, I came to realize that a sixth sense – intuition – is just as important as the others. I loved this magical dimension, the synapses firing and pulling out memories of smells and tastes to help decide what extra pinch of spice might be required to make a dish “pop.”

Attempting to cook in what may have been the world's crappiest kitchen. I don't miss that apartment...

Pan Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Toasted Pecans, Bacon, and Sherry Glaze

This recipe is a Thanksgiving tradition in my family; it began as a more simple concoction made my my father, but I've added a few twists to make it even more "crowd-pleasing." Bacon adds even more meaty richness to what is already a surprisingly satisfying side dish. Of course, if you'd like it to be a vegetarian recipe, the bacon can be omitted without ruining the flavor.

The magical addition is the Harvey's Bristol Cream Sherry. It's sweet, adds depth, and when it reduces down with the butter, forms a nice glaze that isn't at all heavy or overpowering of the fresh veggie flavor in the sprouts. 

Ingredients: 

• 3 tbs. unsalted butter
• 1/3 cup toasted pecans
• 1/2 lb brussels sprouts, rinsed and halved
• 4 slices cooked bacon, crumbled
• 1 medium white onion, chopped
• 1/4 cup Harvey's Bristol Cream Sherry
• coarse black pepper

1. Heat a large saute pan over medium heat and add all of the butter.

2. Making sure the pan is very hot (the butter should be just starting to brown), add the brussels sprouts. Stir to coat with the butter, then LET THEM SIT. Patience! Resist the urge to keep stirring, or they won't get roasty-browned. Let them cook about 4 minutes, then you can toss them and let them sit another 4 minutes or so. 

3. Set aside the sprouts 

4. Add the chopped onion to the pan, as well as the Harvey's. Turn the heat to medium and let the

onions get soft while the Harvey's reduces. 

5. Add crumbled bacon, toasted pecans, and the sprouts, and mix them together. Add a little more butter and Harvey's if needed.

Once everything is tossed together and evenly coated in the Harvey's butter, you're ready to enjoy!