Monday, March 31, 2008

Sad Kermit!

Love and Bacon

Here's a GREAT direct quote from one of my fans (who also happens to be a scrabble dork).
"don't let your opponent have the red space and don't try to argue with jessica adeline"
Damn straight.

The Hot New Thing (other than me)

APPARENTLY, my dork-source informs me, this is the hott new internet craze. So check it out:

And here's mine:

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Gold Coast Tour of Sushi- Part One

I'm on a mission to hit the best sushi restaurants in Fairfield County. As a sushi fan, this should be fun. First stop: Tengda in Westport, CT. My reviews are not complete, as each one is based only on an evaluation of the atmosphere and three rolls of sushi. But here we go:

An unassuming store-front, with a pleasant interior. There was a "trendy" feel to the interior, with cool lighting fixtures in bright colors. When I went there was no one else in the whole place, but according to the website, reservations would be necessary for a weekend night. There was a small fountain near the entrance, and the sushi bar was in the center of the action. The tabletops were really cool, with mosaics laid into the tops that were made out of beans and spices and such. The general color tone was warm and muted, but all the surfaces hard.

I had "roll B" off the lunch menu, 14$. 3 rolls of sushi- Spicy Salmon and Avocado, Spicy Tuna, and Spicy California Roll. The Tuna was presented differently that I expected, with the tuna chopped up and mixed with the spicy sauce, kind of a mush. It was my least favorite roll. The Salmon, however, was fantastic and buttery, and tasted extremely fresh. There was also plenty of Avocado, which I love. Yum! The California roll was also really delicious, with the coolness of the Crab balancing out the spicy-ness. It also had sizable Avocado chunks. Overall, the sushi was very good, with the Salmon being the winner.

I'd be interested to go back and try more items, particularly hot menu items in addition to the sushi. Looking over the menu I see they have Pad Thai (my favorite), and two roll lunch specials for 9 dollars. (It was my fault we missed this, because I took such a long time to get ready). Tomorrow mom and I are going to try it out (she's a sushi fiend).

Missing Ian

Today is the anniversary of Ian's death. I miss him, I wish it wasn't true, but this is reality. I'll never understand it, and I'll always ponder why.
I want to repost this poem from many posts back, because I think it really explains how I feel and what it has really been like.

I'll bet you think the room was empty.
Wrong. There were three chairs with sturdy backs.
A lamp, good for fighting the dark.
A desk, and on the desk a wallet, some newspapers.
A carefree Buddha and a worried Christ.
Seven lucky elephants, a notebook in a drawer.
You think our addresses weren't in it?

No books, no pictures, no records, you guess?
Wrong. A comforting trumpet poised in black hands.
Saskia and her cordial little flower.
Joy the spark of gods.
Odysseus stretched on the shelf in life-giving sleep
after the labors of Book Five.
The moralists with the golden syllables of their names
inscribed on finely tanned spines.
Next to them, the politicians braced their backs.

No way out? But what about the door?
No prospects? The window had other views.
His glasses lay on the windowsill.
And one fly buzzed---that is, was still alive.

You think at least the note could tell us something.
But what if I say there was no note---
and he had so many friends, but all of us fit neatly
inside the empty envelope propped up against a cup.

-The Suicide's Room, Wislawa Szymborska

Saturday, March 15, 2008

She knows exactly what you can't resist

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark. In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all, do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.
--Ayn Rand (1905 - 1982), Atlas Shrugged

Today was a really good day. I feel happy and excited, particularly for NYC and Norton. But other stuff is happening is always surprising. In good and bad ways, as I have most definitely learned. I had really important conversations tonight, as well as meaningful ones and funny ones. Plus I aced my midterm. I pretty much rule.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Cat in an empty apartment

Dying--you wouldn't do that to a cat.
For what is a cat to do
in an empty apartment?
Climb up the walls?
Brush up against the furniture?
Nothing here seems changed,
and yet something has changed.
Nothing has been moved,
and yet there's more room.
And in the evenings the lamp is not on.
One hears footsteps on the stairs,
but they're not the same.
Neither is the hand
that puts a fish on the plate.
Something here isn't starting
at its usual time.
Something here isn't happening
as it should.
Somebody has been here and has been,
and then has suddenly disappeared
and now is stubbornly absent.
All the closets have been scanned
and all the shelves run through.
Slipping under the carpet and checking came to nothing.
The rule has even been broken and all the papers scattered.
What else is there to do?
Sleep and wait.
Just let him come back,
let him show up.
Then he'll find out
that you don't do that to a cat.
Going toward him
faking reluctance,
slowly, on very offended paws.
And no jumping, purring at first.

-Wislawa Szymborska

I have found you can find happiness in slavery

New thought process that occurred in the shower this morning, because I was thinking about how uber-functional I've been lately.
The government wants us all to be functional, hard working, over working producers. We should sleep less, work more, etc. etc. But in the past decades the rate of depression has been going up at a troubling rate. Depressed people are not good "society machines". In order to motivate us all to keep on working instead of moping about, there is a noticeable influx of shows that encourage us to be shallow and money seeking. Haven't you noticed? There are way fewer sitcoms about quirky dysfunctional people than there used to be. Now shows still concede that most people are pretty messed up, but they're messed up in shallow, money seeking, non-philosophical ways.
Examples: Dirty Sexy Money, Cashmere Mafia, Lipstick Jungle, Gossip Girl. These shows also emphasize women as bitchy and manipulative, and I think this is an attempt to channel depression into a more productive method.
So I wonder: are anti-depressants becoming a sort of "study drug" for life? Nowadays, people need an extra boost just to function, let alone excel. This all seemed beautifully connected in the shower and I told myself to go write it immediately, but I studied a bit first, so this line of reasoning became a little bit blurry.
Lastly, I must mention again how FANTASTIC Nine Inch Nails is. I want to post all the lyrics, all the time. I want them tattooed all over me (not seriously). That's how good they are.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

I hope they can not see the limitless potential living inside of me...


Head like a hole, black as your soul, I'd rather die than give you control

For those of you who haven't read Macbeth or seen a faithful performance of it, please do. I've realized recently that Lady Macbeth is one of my favorite female literary characters. She's so strong, willing to say what she thinks, and totally nutso. She's great, and has some of the best lines Shakespeare has written (in my not so humble and fully qualified opinion). Make sure to pay particular attention to Act 2, Scene 2. Epic.

Also, I'm furiously working on my Modern Philosophy midterm, with particular focus on Descartes, Locke, and Kant. The funny thing about philosophy is how much time we spend studying the failed thoughts of past thinkers. It isn't like science where we move away from old theories that are no longer relevant. We spend weeks on thinkers that pretty much sound retarded now. But honestly, it's interesting...Even if it does make me pull my hair out a little.

Nine Inch Nails is FANTASTIC. Not that this is any sort of new revelation, either for myself or the music world. But really...great stuff. If you can't deal with the Industrial sound, at least read the lyrics.

Alex's daddy comes today and we're having dinner with him! yayyy! And after tomorrow I'm done forever with least for this year.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Spoof it!!!

Watch this at your own's gross by "normal" people's standards.


Charlie Bit Me!

This is really cute and funny. But don't worry, I'll soon post a spoof I found that is rather offensive. But for now, enjoy the innocent cuteness.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Randomness defines life

So, my friend Mallory is an artist, and for her digital photography class she is taking pictures of different body parts and then superimposing writing by people about their bodies. It's really a cool project, and she's very talented. I volunteered as a model, because I'm AWESOME. lol. So Jess and I modeled for her and had alot of fun. These are two pics of me, and I think Mallory has definite skill.

Next, watch this humorously perverse video:

Monday, March 3, 2008


I AM SO HUNGRY!! I want a belgian waffle, bacon, EGGS! I even thought about an omlette with cheese. That is how much I want food. I also wanted a panini or a quiznos sub. I already ate Chicken finger and fries for lunch, plus 50 pounds of goldfish and wheat thins, PLUS half a box of mozzerella sticks with Katy!
And I want cheesecake. I'm having seriously retarded cravings.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

I'm a million different things and not one you know

She makes the depression business look surprisingly novel.
And she's not just royal, allegedly loyal, not unfaithful but she has no faith in me.
Paradise isn't lost, it was hiding all along.
There's the ones that you love,
The ones that love you,
The ones that make you come unglued.
-Marilyn Manson

When I heard the learn'd astronomer,
When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me,
When I was shown the charts, the diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them,
When I sitting heard the learned astronomer where he lectured with much applause in the lecture room, How soon unaccountable I became tired and sick,
Till rising and gliding out I wander'd off by myself,
In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,
Look'd up in perfect silence at the stars.
-Walt Whitman

Capital G, Nine Inch Nails

I'm sick of hearing about the "have's" and "have not's"
Have some personal accountability
The biggest problem with the way that we've been doing things is
The more we let you have the less that I'll be keeping for me

Don't give a shit about the temperature in Guatemala
Don't really see what all the fuss is about
Ain't gonna worry about no future generations
And I'm sure somebody's gonna figure it out

Don't try to tell me that some power can corrupt a person
You haven't had enough to know what its like
You're only angry 'cause you wish you were in my position
Now nod your head because you know that I'm right... alright!

Saturday, March 1, 2008

He does a duet with HIMSELF!!


How could I ever think it's funny how everything that you swore would never change is different now?
Just like you would always say 'we'll make it through', then my head fell apart and where were you?
You said you and me would make it
through,didn't quite - fell apart, where the fuck were you?
-Somewhat Damaged, Nine Inch Nails

I am the voice inside your head
I am the hate you try to hide
I am the high you can't sustain
I am the need you have for more
I am the bullet in the gun
I am the truth from which you run
I am the silencing machine
I am the end of all your dreams
And I control you
You let me do this to you.
Nothing can stop me now because I just don't care anymore.
Tried to save myself but my self keeps slipping away.
-Trent Reznor